Essay on women...or senseless ramblings by Xian (Repost)

Sunday, March 21, 2004

Essay on women...or senseless ramblings by Xian So I popped by the Starbucks drive-thru at the clocktower in Herndon this morning for my daily wakeup call and this same girl is at the window. She's telling me again how much she loves the mixes I always have playing and dancing, to which I just smile, tip her well to spread the plur, and go about my day. But today I was thinking, "Was she flirting? Being nice cuz it's her job? Or just being extra friendly cuz she's a party kid and I was playing good music?" That set off a whole chain of thought that made me go for a drive and think (I do my best thinking while driving). I was thinking about how if she was flirting, I would have no idea what to say to her. I've been out of the game for so long I don't even know what the game is anymore. Some of you might laugh and poke fun now but those that know me know that I am brutally candid about all things and not interested in projecting stupid ass images least of all what a "pimp" I am. So anyway I was thinking about how easy it was when I was younger. If I liked a girl things just kind of fell into place. Now that I'm older, it doesn't work like that. I have to put effort into it, and I'm afraid to do that. The question then was why am I afraid? The answer? Women scare me. A woman can squash you with a word. All my year's experience with women has taught me one thing, "Women are a force of nature". They come into your life with all the force of a hurricane and all the beauty of a lightening storm. The storm is both frightening and wonderful at the sametime. You cannot lie to women, you can't contain them, and you certainly can't control them. Some of you might think otherwise but you will never control any woman anymore than she allows you to. Even the sisterhood that they have among themselves mystifies me. Men will never have the same kind of brotherhood or support network that women have with each other. I don't know where I'm going with all this except to say that if you are out there and you have the storm in your life, cherish the hell out of it. Don't fight it or try to control it, you may as well be beating your fist against the wind. Just love it for the majesty and beauty that it is.