Tuesday, January 06, 2004
 | Resolve I wrote this as my New Years resolve about a month ago but it's worth sharing. I have been doing some thinking last night and today and I have decided on a resolution for myself. I don't know if I'm posting this here for any reason except in the hopes that a few others may be inspired to take this to heart and make it a part of their lives as well. I have been living as a priest for nearly four years now. I haven't had sex, and I haven't dated anyone. This came about as a result of my divorce. I looked backk on my life and saw a string of serious relationships with nary a week between each, and I relized that I was afraid to be alone. I needed to take some time off of trying to fulfill somebody else's needs to do some soul searching to find out what my needs were and how to take care of them. I have learned alot about myself in this time alone and here are some decisions I've made for myself at it's conclusion. 1) I will never enter a relationships with regrets from past relationships again. She deserves better and so do I! 2) Nobody in my life will ever wonder how much they mean to me again. Through action AND deed the people I care about will know exactly how special they are to me. 3) I am not a messiah, there are burdens I can handle and there are burdens I can't. I will look at every problem presented to me and be honest with myself as to wether I can really help or not, no matter how much I want to help. 4) I have always had a problem with intimacy. Things from my chilhood have always made this a road block for me, making every relationship I've had hit a plateau, and my fear of intimacy has always prevented me from moving beyond it. I have delved so far into it that I now crave hugs I used to cringe from, i even have dreams of holding people's hands. Sounds silly but these were huge fears for me. 5) I will never let my fear of intimacy or anything else keep me from committing myself completely to someone I love again. Every relationship I've ever had has had me with one foot in the commitment and one foot in bachelorhood. 6) I will do everything I can to make sure every person I meet is happier for having met me. I have crossed paths with thousands of people in my lifetime and I abhor what some of them must think of if ever reminded of me again. 7) I have no place in my life nor time to waste on fear. These are some key points from my four years at the University of Christian. As I throw my hat back into the romantic ring I hope they will both help you to understand me better and inspire all of you to improve upon the quality of your lives. 7) I have no place in my life nor time to waste on fear. Now having said all that, I'm back!!!!! Where are the womenz? |
