The Thought

A lot of people may think this twisted of me but I have kind of a perverse curiosity about Charles Manson. I'm not going to go into a debate about what he did or didn't do or nurture vs. nature and all the standard topics of discussion that seem to pop up when his name is uttered. Instead what I am most curious about is his amazing intelligence that is often overlooked when television celebrities interview him and play up his crazy anti-social tendencies.

One thing that he always talks about that seems to go right over the interviewers heads is when he talks about the "thought." Now I have watched a lot of the interviews and pieced together the often times fragmented meaning of this. The reason this is often so overlooked is because he states it rather matter of factly and rarely even tries to explain it.

Now this set off a whole chain reaction of thinking in me and exploring this concept has made me see the world in a completely new way. A liberating and even frightening outlook to be sure. You see, in this concept the only thing that gives a police officer authority is the belief that he has authority. This belief is what he refers to as the "thought." Now that in itself is a frightening thought but it can be applied to every single aspect of our society. The only thing that gives anyone right of ownership is the belief of those around that person in their right of ownership. Or the only thing that gives money value is the belief that it has value. Do you see that in this construct there are no truths? In this construct all of our truths are merely a thought. And each one of our truths even our belief in right and wrong is also a method of control.

Authority, value, morals, these are all methods of control to make you follow the the rules made by man and by your very belief in them are truth. You could argue for physical proof of authority by such measures as imprisonment. But if you accept that your physical body is merely an appendage whose sole design is keeping your mind alive then what is physical imprisonment? Particularly when all the functions such as gathering food, providing shelter etc... are being met? The body is then obsolete. The need for freedom of movement itself becomes obsolete in this case. The mind itself can never be imprisoned no matter what kind of incarceration is imposed upon the body. In fact the only thing that can imprison the mind is the thought. If your every day routine is dictated by the belief in the constructs of our society ie... government, authority, religion, money etc.. then it could well be argued that we are the ones being incarcerated. In this case, who is the crazy one? The man who is liberated in jail or the man who incarcerates himself mentally every day?

Moving On

I find it's getting easier, living life without you and that in itself is it's own cruel pain. To know that my life is going on without you and I'm getting used to this loneliness. To know that someday, sooner than I thought, I will think of you and not hurt at all. I will finally accept the fact that you are gone. Someday soon you won't be in my dreams anymore. And I won't be disappointed when I wake and find it was a dream and you are still gone. It was almost easy to accept that you didn't love me anymore because I was in love with loving you. And even when you were gone my love for you would remain. And that sustained me. But that too is fading and I am truelly lonely now. I have reached into that place from where all my love once flowed and I have found the well is dry. I painted this portrait of you, as you looked when you loved me, and I poured all the love I had left into it. Hopefully it will stand as a monument to that love. And some lonely cold night I will look at it and remember how completely I loved you, and how powerful my love can be. But most of all I will remember that you once loved me

Nursery Rhyme

They teach us about true love and happily ever after but like Humpty Dumpty they always fall off the wall.And all the kings horses and all the kings men Will never get it back together again
The best you can hope for is to find little Miss Muffet sitting on her tuffet and try it all over again.

Alone

One lover walks away
One sinks underground
A child called home to his maker
And here I sit lost and alone

Like fire the balm hits my throat
Like silk another through the nose

Try to push it all back
Try to make it go away
But in the end they're still gone
And here I sit lost and alone

Circles

A name, a key
Past lives intertwined
The persistence of memory
On my tongue
An unregistered image
A symbol
A circle
Eyes meet
Recognition shared
Deja Vu
Love lost
Found again
And lost
A circle

Sleep

Mother earth, open your arms
let me feel their cool soothing embrace
let me climb back into my earthen womb
and sleep once again

let me forget this life i have lived until now
this life where everyone leaves
and love so temporary is a disposable thing
let me feel your balm on the wounds of my heart

let time herself whisper sweet lullabyes into my sleeping ears
let me slumber under waves of summer wheat
I long for darkness, silence, nothing there
except the sweet whisper of wind above

The Kiss

Another old poem of mine.

Stuck in the hold of your warm embrace
Moonlight streaming down your innocent face
Angel sheds a silent tear
To see such beauty brought down here

After everything I've done, all that I've seen
All that I've heard, everywhere I've been
Your smile melts my vagabond heart
Thought I was too sensible for love, too damn smart

But I look through your eyes at the world so new
And I feel so anxious, I don't know what to do
Through all of my travels this is what I've missed
And I learned all of this from just one kiss